Dreaming of a Horse Farm

One of my dreams since I was a kid was to have a horse.  I grew up in the country and friends of mine had horses that I rode.  So my new dream as an adult has been expanded to have a horse farm.  Here is what I imagine it would be like this time of year.

 robin stubbert photographer

robin stubbert photographer

designer sarah richardson's farmhouse 

One of these days, hopefully my dream will come true.  What's your dream?

Who am I?

There are situations in my life where my personality is revealed even more.  I think the older I get to more I don't like who I am.  The most recent situation was a recent family vacation to Disneyworld.

We decided to take the leap with a 4 yr. old and a 4 mth. old.  We didn't think it would be that difficult with a set of grandparents and an aunt and uncle with us.  WRONG!!!  It was the worst experience of my life. I was so stressed the whole time trying to figure out the timing of making sure we see everything we wanted to see and at the right times while juggling where to nurse a 4 mth. old.  Evidently I can't handle more than one timing coordination at one time.  I also realized that I don't like to make decisions that affect 6 adults and 2 children.  I'm a people pleaser and want to make everyone happy by doing what's best for EVERYONE.  Impossible when you're at Disneyworld.  Of course the worse comes out in everyone when you don't get the sleep you need.  For the mom of a newborn, sleep just doesn't happen.  Throw getting up early and hitting the ground running until 10 pm or later, doesn't make for a sane mama.  By the 5th day, I felt like I had no brain cells left and needed to be admitted in the looney bin.

My advice for anyone that is about to go on vacation to Disney.......DON'T GO if you have a kid in a stroller and a newborn that you are nursing.  Too stressful!!!

For the "happiest place on earth", it didn't turn out to be so happy for this mama.  Just give me a sailboat for a week in the Carribbean and I would be happy.

Choose joy

Aaahhh.....motherhood.  We all wish for it and sometimes long for it more than anything. Now that I'm in the middle of it with 2 girls (ages 4 and 2 mths.), I'm wondering what the hell have I gotten myself up to.  There is no manual on what a babies cry means or what to do when your fully potty trained 4 yr. old all of the sudden starts peeing in her pants again.  

It's the most stressful job I've ever had.  I'm trying to get supper ready and there is a crying baby in the background that needs to be fed then there is a 4 yr. old that needs entertaining and attention.  Never needed patience more in my life.  So then at the end of the day I just feel drained and unhappy.  Then I recall the verse that says, 

**PAUSE - have to go nurse the baby

So where was I....Oh yeah....the life handbook (the Bible) says, "This is the day that the Lord hath made, I will rejoice and be glad in it." (Psalm 118:24).  So that's my daily motto.  No matter what the day brings, I choose to be happy because God chose for me to enjoy it.  I will probably need to remind myself of this EVERY day.